Motherhood & Adolescence: Growing With Our Firstborn Through the Hard Seasons
, by Elena Sanchez, 4 min reading time
Motherhood is a journey of growth - for both parent and child. In this Luminary Story, I share the realities of raising my firstborn through adolescence as a single mother, navigating challenges, learning new tools, and leaning into prayer and therapy, and discovering how to offer grace while allowing growth through mistakes. A reflection for every mother learning as she goes.
Growing With Our Firstborn Through the Hard Seasons
Motherhood has a way of introducing us to parts of ourselves that we didn't know existed. Before my firstborn, I thought parenting was about guidance, protection, and love. And it is - but it's also about humility, unlearning, and growing right alongside our children.
There's something deeply sacred and deeply challenging about raising your first child. They teach us how to be a mother while we are still learning how to be one.
As mothers, we often enter parenthood with expectations of ourselves, our children, and of how thing should look. But no one prepares you for how much parenting requires you to evolve. Especially when your child enters adolescence.
Learning to Parent a Teenage Son as a Single Mother
Right now, I am in a season of learning how to raise a teenage boy as a single mother and I'll be honest, it hasn't been easy.
There are challenges I face that I know, deep down, a father or strong male presence could teach my son in ways I simply cannot. That realization alone comes with its own weight, feelings of inadequacy, frustration, and sometimes guilt. I love my son fiercely, yet there are moments where I feel like I'm reaching for him and can't quite touch him.
Teenage boys go through changes that are physical, emotional, hormonal, and spiritual. Their need for independence grows, their emotions become more complex, and their silence can feel louder than words. As a mother, especially a single mother, it can feel isolating trying to navigate this terrain alone.
When Love Isn't Enough and You Need New Tools
One of the hardest truths I've had to face is this: loving your child deeply doesn't always mean you automatically know how to reach them.
I've struggled with understanding my son's emotional shifts, his reactions, and his resistance. I've struggled with learning new tactics and strategies because what worked when he was younger no longer works now. Parenting a teenager requires flexibility, patience, and a willingness to meet your child where they are, not where you wish they could be.
And sometimes, that's painful - especially when you're trying to raise a child that you can't seem to reach.
Prayer, Patience, and Asking for Help
In this season, prayer has become my anchor.
I pray for patience when my emotions rise faster than my understanding. I pray for wisdom when discipline feels confusing. I pray for my son's heart, his protection, his purpose, and his future - even on days when communication feels strained.
I've also learned that seeking help is not a weakness. Therapy has been a tool I've leaned into - not because I'm failing as a mother, but because I want to grow. Therapy has helped me gain perspective, develop healthier communication tools, and learn how to maneuver with intention rather than reaction.
Sometimes the most loving thing we can do for our children is admit that we need support.
Letting Our Children Make Mistakes & Letting Ourselves Breathe
One of my biggest struggles has been learning how to uplift my son after he's made mistakes while also allowing him to experience the consequences that come with those mistakes.
It's a delicate balance.
As mothers, our instinct is to protect. To shield. To fic. But growth doesn't always happen through rescue - it often happens though responsibility and reflection. Letting your adolescent child stumble can feel unbearable, yet those moments can become the very lessons that shape their character.
I am learning that my role isn't to remove every obstacle from my son's path, but to walk beside him as he learns how to navigate life - offering guidance, accountability, and grace.
An open Space for Mothers Walking This Road
This reflection isn't meant to provide answers; it's meant to open the floor.
If you are a mother navigating adolescence....
If you are struggling to reach your child...
If you are learning how to parent while healing parts of yourself...
If you are praying for patience, clarity, and strength....
You are not alone.
Motherhood is not a destination - it's a journey of becoming. And sometimes, our children grow us just as much as we grow them.
I invite other mothers to share what has helped them through this season. Whether it's prayer, boundaries, therapy, community, or simply time - your story matters here.
This is Luminary Stories - where we honor the light, even in hard places.
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, by Elena Sanchez Motherhood & Adolescence: Growing With Our Firstborn Through the Hard Seasons
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